Dear J,
Good
day. How are you? It has been 4 years since I last saw you. Your features, I
can still recall them. The way how you furrow your eyebrows and the way your
forehead creases while you think; the way how your smile radiates as you look
at me; the way how your eyes sparkle with mischief as you tickled me; the way
how your hands fits in mine. I could still recall it all even when I close my
eyes and even in my dreams, you were always there.
I can’t
believe it had been that long. There had been a lot of changes that happened
over the course of time. The sea where we used to have our moon walks was not as
beautiful as it was; the grounds where we used to spend our lazy days got lonelier;
the music room where it all had started is now surrounded with deafening
silence. All seemed not to be as lively as what it used to be before…
I miss
you so much that even in the silence of my four corners of my room, your name and
voice, it resonates like the big waves crashing on the shore. Your were like my
personal oxygen because I can’t breathe without you, but then everyday without
you here near me makes me like a fish out of water.
Can you
tell me how to forget you? Tell me what I should do. Tell me how to forget you.
But then it always come back to the question, am I ready to let go of you, your
memory. Yet I’m the one telling myself I shouldn’t let go, afraid of losing the
precious things we shared. But it always
dawned on me that you wouldn’t want me to be in this state. And so I’ll try my
hardest to do what I have been always doing, the things you said that I should
do when I felt missing you.
I know you’re happy in that
place where you are now and that you have always had watched over me. Don’t
worry my love for I eventually found the happiness that I always had searched.
But always remember my love is always with you. Till here my sweet love.
X,
M
(4.30.13)
